Stop and stare

If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?

2011-07-01T22:48:00.000+08:00

Yo. It's raining heavily now and it's getting colder and colder. Hoping for a good weather tomorrow for the school bazaar. So anyways, I'm really frustrated about something so maybe I'll blog about it. I'm in this committee thingy which needs to organize this formal dinner thingy. Everytime I tried to input something, this girl will really just go against everything I say. It's so obvious that she don't have the first clue about what she's doing. Such improper planning of things. Really hard to work with douches like her. But I'm praying to God to grant me patience, because though I make it sound really bad, it might not be that bad, really. It's just that I have a very low patience level and I really don't tolerate people who disrespect me. But, sighs. I need strength lah.

Anywaysssss, lots of my ex school friends are coming back soon! Can't wait to meet them, and just catch up=) All those schooling days with them now seems to faraway.

Made a few new friends that I always hang out with in class. Lemme introduce them to youu!!! :)

This one is Mervin. He sits next to me in class and he's hilarious. He's super duper funny and he speaks funny English. We all laugh at him cos he says the randomest things and the randomest time. He sings a lot. A LOT. And gets the lyrics all jumbled about. He dances a lot too. And he's in my church as well, I just didn't notice it because he's in the chinese congregation.

This is Poong. He's from Kudat and he's staying alone here in KK, so basically he's new to KK. But he has a house here and he's super independent. He cooks his own food, washes his own clothes etc. He does get lonely sometimes at home so we're planning to cook and have dinner at his place one day. And he has a girlfriend in Kudat awwwwww :)

This is Low Man Chung..this is the only picture of him that I can find, so don't judge :P Hahahaha he's super random too...he tells the lamest of jokes and he'll randomly shout out, Joshua why you don't wear underwear? He's hilarious...his face is so innocent but then he's so full of bullshit you'll just love him to death haha plus, he's a great piano player. He's a big fan of classical music and he even wrote an essay on the history of music during our MUET free writing period. So yeah, usually talk about musIc with him, if we're not crapping about other stuff.

Too bad all of them speaks Chinese as their first language. But I'm improving my Chinese by talking to them.

Besides them, there's Eloise and Denise as well. Eloise sings a lot in class and I'd join her everytime and annoy the living hell out of all our other classmates. Denise, well. She's Denise, nothing's changed about her. Awesome as usual. Then there's Alice and Oh Wei Chen. They'll laugh at anything you say, which is pretty awesome, to have someone laugh at your jokes XD There's this girl Queenie, who's a huge fan of Kpop. And she draws really well. She drew an animated scene thingy of our class which is super impressive. I'll upload it once someone scans it in.

Other class, there's this girl Jacqueline Teo. She's that girl who's super fun to bully. Gullible, but nice in general. We're pretty close too, I'd say, because we tease each other a lot and stuff and she always comes over to my class and hangs out with me and Mervin.

So yeah, that's basically it. They're the people that prevents me from getting too lonely in Form 6. They'll definitely be people I won't want to forget.

Holidays!

2011-05-30T22:36:00.000+08:00

I can't help it but think Vanessa and Yu Chen are so cute after seeing the pictures in elf's blog hahahaha i'm such a freak stalker i don't even know yu chen.

So basically it's holidays now...Went to school for 2 weeks and now it's holidays for two weeks. Honestly, I feel super guilty having holidays now. I feel so undeserving of the holidays, but hey I ain't complaining. Sorry for the super boring posts without pictures, I'm a very boring person hahahaha

So planning to study everyday during these holidays. Get things done, refresh things up...regretting not joining youth camp but ah well....wasn't a super super super big fan of camps. Sure, it's fun, but sleeping on mattresses on the floor is not really my thing. I'm not being spoilt or anything, just that I can't sleep when I'm sleeping in a strange place.

I have this urge to walk around Suria alone. I'm such a loner, but I don't even know why I feel like going to Suria. Prolly cos I heard there's elmo t shirts sold there, and i wanna go hunting for them. On another random note, the weather here in KK is really having mood swings. 1 minute it'll be scorching hot and next, it'll be raining super heavily. It's so weird. What's happening?

Sorry once again for the super unstructured post. Really random stuff all over. I can't write essays without having its rangka planned out first. So, yeah. Call me a noob :p

Stay for a while

2011-05-11T01:01:00.000+08:00

Crap. Yea, that's what I'm feeling right now. I gotta warn y'all, this post is not going to be happy. I'm not updating this post on my tumblr, because I think (or I like to think) that I have quite a number of followers there, so I guess in a way, my blogspot is more 'private' because less people know about it, and I don't particularly want too many people reading about how I'm feeling right now. And yes, I'm aware that this blog is public, but like I said, I think I have less traffic here.

So, today I registered for Form 6 in All Saints. Honestly, I really don't want to do Form 6. So many people told me not to go, and I know it's hard and everything. I don't want to go back to school and see the teachers and let them judge me and hold grudges against me because I'm not exactly the model student in All Saints. But again, parents get the last say. I'm really not ready to be positive about this, though I really want to be. But I got to look at the bright side for everything. Really, I'm praying that I will be.

But that's not even all, some other matters like love and everything that makes me sound so pathetic right now is bothering me. Honestly, it's killing me sometimes. So pathetic. But, you know, I need to be strong and everything. I really tend to overthink too much stuff. It's either I get super clingy to people or I block people off. It's really bad, but being human and after what I've experienced, this is what I've been doing. Blocking people, I mean. It's like building walls around your heart and guarding it so as not to get hurt. I'll have to admit I'm being very pathetic right now, cause I'm feeling so insecure about everything. You know, when others blog about these kind of stuff, I would think that it's super pathetic and lame. That's what I am right now, Pathetic and lame. Argghh crap, I need to flush this out of my system.

Plus, I'm always sick nowadays. I've got a super bad fever now, my whole body is really heating up and I don't even know why. Probably the ever changing weather. Last night and a few times this morning, I have this super bad throbbing headache. Last night, especially. My head was hurting so freaking bad and when I moved my head a little bit, it hurt so bad that I had to wince in pain. What's happening to me? Old age? :O

Hoping I'll feel better soon. Both mentally and physically.

Be still, my soul.

2011-05-03T14:19:00.000+08:00

Haih. I don't know why, but I feel so down now. I honestly don't know why, I mean nothing has changed drastically recently. But yet, there's somehow this feeling that has been bothering me. Weird, huh? Have any one of y'all ever felt it? Like, you're feeling down for some reason but you just can't put your finger on what it is. It's pretty frustrating. Maybe I'll get some sleep :) Hahaha and yes, I'll be alright =)

Here's a pretty nice optimistic song:

JOHN MAYER - PERFECTLY LONELY

Had a little love but I spread it thin
Falling in her arms and out again
Made a bad name for my game round town
Tore out my heart and shut it down

PRE-CHORUS
Nothing to do, nowhere to be
A simple little a kind of free
Nothing to do, no one but me
That's is all I need

CHORUS
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely, yeah
Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

I see my friends around from time to time
When their ladies let em slip away
And when they ask me how I'm doing with mine
This is always what I say ...

PRE-CHORUS
Nothing to do, nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do, no one to be
Is it really hard to see?

CHORUS
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely, yeah
Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I'll take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I'll have to thank the wrongs
That led me to a love so strong

[INSTRUMENTAL]

CHORUS
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely, yeah
Cause I don't belong to anyone
And nobody belongs --

That's the way, that's the way
That's the way that I want it
That's the way, that's the way
That's the way that I want it
That's the way, that's the way
That's the way that I want it
That's the way, that's the way
That's the way that I want it

Show a little more, show a little less :p

2011-04-29T13:14:00.000+08:00

Went out with friends yesterday after so long being cooped up in my house, I feel like a hermit sometimes. Drove to 1Borneo then to McD for lunch with them. We didn't watch a movie this time, which I have to admit was a nice change. So basically, someone has a little wardrobe crisis and we had to help him out a bit :p hahaha So after that went to play pool! Awesome, haven't played that in a long time. Makes me feel so cina beng. What's worse is that they played all sorts of korean songs and I know 2 of them. AHHHHHH!

So on the brighter side, we went to play bumper cars after that. That 5 minutes is still so awesome. But it's like kinda pricey lah, it's RM5 for only 5 minutes >.< After that we went to friggin' bowl. Awesome, huh? I got 3rd out of the 5 people who played. It's pretty good, huh? =)

Also tried the Rest N' Go thingy in 1B. Wasn't super nice, though. Hahaha, I actually prefer it to massage my back harder, but ah wells. Good day spent, yesterday.

So to those who's nice enough to care about what I'm doing now, I'm currently helping in the church in the worship department =) I don't feel so useless anymore! *happy dance*

Missing someone?

2011-04-29T00:44:00.000+08:00

Hmmm So I've been wondering, what does missing someone mean?

1. Could it mean that you will notice the huge difference in your life when that person is away?

2. Could it mean that you wants that person to be right next to you?

3. Could it mean that you would do anything to get to them?

4. Could it mean that you want things to be back to the way it was?

So puzzling, huh? Sorry for the random crap. It's how I randomly feel in the middle of the night D:
And of course, because I'm really missing someone >.<

Worship Practice

2011-04-14T23:36:00.000+08:00

So, now I just finished worship practice. It was really good. Went really well, had fun while doing so then went to McD with the team. Learnt a new song called Sing sing sing by Chris Tomlin.

And now, I want to talk about the heart of worship =)) I believe everybody in the worship team should have a heart of worship. We're not just merely musicians, our duty is to help and facilitate the congregation to worship and draw closer to God. It's a pretty big responsibility, if you ask me. While playing, it is so important to show a joyful face as well as worship together. Some people will not worship if they see the worship team not singing and not worshipping. So, you can see how important it is.

I've expressed how I didn't really like Jonathan Tse's way of leading and stuff because he's a perfectionist. But after talking to Cynthia, my cell leader, she told me that he just wants to give the best to God. And so today, I really understood it. I want to give the best, I don't want to give just lame crappy music to God, because like I said earlier, our duty is to help the congregation to worship. So how can the congregation concentrate on worship if there's so much wrong things going on? So, I've grown to love the way Jonathan leads and coordinates. Because, honestly, I'll get offended if Jonathan didn't expect much from us. So, yeah. There's no reason why we shouldn't give the best to God.

So I urge everyone in the worship team, in my church or in other churches, to have a heart of worship. Anyone can just stand up there and strum and bang a few chords and play some beats. But it takes real anointing to be able to worship and play at the same time. Give your best to God, so to God be the glory! =)

25 minutes too late

2011-04-14T11:25:00.000+08:00

Hellllllllllllo! I'm sitting down here, feeling so sick man. I've got the flu, sore throat and all. Arghhh I hate this haha then again,who likes it anyway?

I don't even know what I'm supposed to say now. I'm honestly that bored at home. I want to find friends to go out with but it's either they have school or they're not free. Tonight there's worship practice with Jonathan Tse, so wish me luck so he won't have too high expectations on me >.<

Someone ask me out ehh! hahaha I'm dying here lol

Au revoir - Till we meet again

2011-04-08T22:59:00.000+08:00

Yo! I just got my driving license yesterday and I'm super duper happy you have no idea. I was like smiling like a maniac when the uncle got it for me. I think he thinks I'm so weird. Sorry lah, I'm super sakkai okeh. haha so happy finally I get to drive around. Speaking of, I was pleasantly surprised when my parents started to let me drive alone the next day, which is today. I mean, I thought they'd be paranoid about it but they're surprisingly OK with it. So yea, I'm not complaining =) So today, I went to CF in school. Went to pick up Denise then went to school together. Danny shared today, about love.

On a more serious note, though. I've been wondering for such a long time now. Wondering to a point where it actually bothers me and made me not have a peaceful sleep. Sounds a bit dramatic, though. haha so today, when Danny talked about love, yet again, I've been hit my this age-old question. How can we possibly know if a person is the One? I mean, yes I know to start any relationship, there must be some point of attraction or 'chemistry'. But...really? I don't know. I mean, I've experienced this so-called 'chemistry' before, but how does anyone know if the other person feels it as well? I mean, normally people would say there's 'signs'. But, I know...or at least I thought I knew these signs and I actually misread it and gotten myself hurt over this. You know how it's like, when people start walking in a desert. Then they say this mirage of water, they in a way, misread the mirage as water. So they get super disappointed when they find out it's not real. But when there is actual water, they get paranoid and walk away from it. It's really frustrating and puzzling sometimes. ARGH! I'm just praying that when she comes, when the person I'm supposed to spend my life with comes, I'll be open to it and I pray that God will make me see and let me know who she is =)

Wow. So emo >< hahaha but ah well, that's what I'm feeling currently. I'm not exactly sad, or anything. Just a bit puzzled and a slight hint of frustration. woohoo! It's friday! the weather is really having its mood swings. Hot and cold....

So random o i change topic. hahahaha.....i'm such a boob.

Here comes goodbye~

2011-04-04T00:32:00.000+08:00

The best is yet to come

AHHH today Ze Kuan left for Australia already oh. Might never see him again. Oh no! hahaha gonna miss that dude so much, man. I really look up to him as a person hahaha just pray that he doesn't read this or else he's gonna be feeling so fly haha So today, sent him off at the airport after a few luggage drama and he's off to Perth!
Honestly, he's those really genuinely nice guys I've known, so rare to find hahaha..hope he doesnt read this too.

So on a happier note, I went for steamboat today with a few of my church friends. I honestly feel like a family to them. Why do I say that? It's because Samantha and Charlotte actually helped me cook the food and like put it in my plate and everything despite Charlotte being 2 years younger than me. Sorry if I sound kinda lame, but it's been a while since anyone's done that to me. hahaha even my own parents didn't that to me for some time. We all had awesome fellowship together, laughing at almost everything, groaning after the super heavy meal and just plain had an awesome time. Then after that went over to Yoyo, Lintas to have a drink despite our bulging tummies. Had another long chat with everyone then headed home. Super long sad tiring afternoon because of goodbyes, but super fun night with friends. Good day spent! =)

Chasing cars

2011-03-25T00:48:00.000+08:00

Growing! I'm gonna talk about growing up today. hahaha such an odd topic to talk about. But ah well, since I'm not the most ordinary person in the world, I'll talk about odd things once in a while.

So growing up. I am growing up, as in I'm more mature in a way this year. At least, I like to think that I am. It's so funny how I don't see how I drastically mature as a person during the high school year but months after I finish high school, I feel like I've grown even more mature. Why? I'm not quite sure, but it's possible that it has something to do with my surroundings.

Why do I feel like I'm becoming more mature? I guess because I've outgrown some of my friends. Outgrown as in, I don't get along with them like I used to. I mean, I do love them and all, but sometimes, friends grow apart and that just sucks. See, it's not like I want to drift apart from them, it just happens. But at the same time, you know, I meet new friends and start to share more similar interests. Also, little things that used to bother me last time just don't bother me anymore now. Things like, how some people get mad at me for the most immature and the most unreasonable things. It's not because I'm ignorant or anything, but probably because I simply realized there are bigger things I should worry about.

While in high school, I tend to just study and have fun. That's basically it in high school. So carefree. Now, high school has come to an end, and now I'm one step closer to experiencing adulthood. Real problems arise now. Wow. Things like future, studies, etc are really things you'll have to give a great deal of though about.

And that sucks. Life would be so much easier if everything was readily planned and marked out for us. Like, where we're supposed to go, who we're supposed to meet, who we're supposed to be etc. But, honestly what fun would there be in that? Life's about growing and learning.

So, embrace growth! Embrace change =)

Never say neverrrr~

2011-03-22T12:58:00.000+08:00

Heyyoo! Just realized I haven't been blogging for quite a while now. Don't know why I want to continue to do so after such a long while. Don't know what drove me to the website, but ah well. Now that I'm here, I'ma blog!

So life has been pretty draggy for me these few days. I mean, I just laze around my house or go around watching movies and to random events. I'm like not contributing to the society. But it's all gonna change and everything's gonna be decided starting tomorrow. Because that's when my SPM results are gonna come out. I hope if I do get bad results, no one would ask me how I did. Honestly. I don't wanna feel so awkward telling people who expected a lot from me to have splendid results.

So, in the midst of lazing around the house, I realized something. It's just so hard nowadays to find someone who is so genuinely nice and caring. And when you do find someone like that, you can't help but to fall in love with them >.< Because what they have is so rare and I'm someone who can really fall for someone's inner beauty. Someone so selfless, so caring, always so joyful. Someone who feel really comfortable with and you feel like, "Yes, this is the type of person my parents want me to hang out with". OK, that last part was lame. But really. Nowadays, you can hardly find someone who is just so genuinely nice.

OK, I'm hungry. I need to find food.

Day 4: 10 things you want to say to one person

2010-12-28T01:32:00.001+08:00

1. I miss spending time with you.
2. I miss smiling to your smile.
3. I miss the way you look at me.
4. I want you to hold me and tell me we'll be together forever.
5. Don't forget me.
6. You mean so much to me you have no idea.
7. I want to see your beautiful eyes.
8. I want to hug you and just spend every moment with you.
9. I miss you.
10. I love you.

Day 3: 10 things you hate

2010-12-26T17:43:00.001+08:00

1. I hate backstabbers.

2. I hate inhaling cigarette smoke.

3. I hate ungrateful people.

4. I hate brinjals.

5. I hate going on diets.

6. I hate being sleepy.

7. I hate awkward moments.

8. I hate ulcers >:(

9. I hate goodbyes.

10. I hate my over-sensitive self.

Day 2: 10 things you love

2010-12-26T17:36:00.001+08:00

1. I love the rain.

2. I love receiving hand written cards.

3. I love cuddling :3

4. I love my friends and to hang out with them.

5. I love food and desserts!

6. I love music, so freaking much.

7. I love hugs.

8. I love God.

9. I love watching movies

10. I love you ;)

DAY 1 : 10 THINGS ABOUT YOU

2010-12-23T22:05:00.001+08:00

1. I wear glasses.

2. I still fit into my elementary school sports shirt, and I’m 17 now.

3. I can do weird stuff with my shoulder blade and with my jaw.

4. I’m left handed. I only eat and write with my left hand. But the rest like sports, I use my right hand.

5. I play the piano and a little bit of the bass guitar. Like a very little bit. And I play the guitar even less.

6. I enjoy just sitting down and being quiet with my friends. Sure I love being happy and loud too, but it’s awshum if I can sit down with my friends and not talk but feel happy.

7. I’m a big fan of Mariah Carey.

8. It’s hard for me for get over someone :/

9. I hate people who are unteachable.

10. I hate seeing my friends smoking or stuff like that and hurting themselves. I’ll get pissed.

La da dumm

2010-12-23T22:04:00.001+08:00

Day 1: 10 things about about you

Day 2: 10 things you love

Day 3: 10 things you hate

Day 4: 10 things you want to say to one person

Day 5: 10 wishes

Day 6: 10 items you can’t live without

Day 7: 10 important people

Day 8: 10 of your favorite songs

Day 9: 10 ways to win your heart

Day 10: Final 10 words

Maybe...

2010-12-18T22:53:00.003+08:00

1.Maybe…we were supposed to meet the wrong person before we meet the right one, so that when we finally meet the right one we know how to appreciate them…

2. Maybe…it is true that we don’t know what we have until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we have been missing until it arrives…

3. Maybe…the brightest future is always based on the forgotten past, after all you can’t go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistake, failures & headache…

4. Maybe…you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human & enough hope to make you happy…

5. Maybe…the happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way….

6. Maybe…the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch & swing with, never said a word, then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had…

7. Maybe…happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched & all those who have tried for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives….

8. Maybe…you should do something nice for someone every single day, even it is simply to leave them alone….

9. Maybe…there are moment in life when you miss someone…a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child…so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams & hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more..

10. Maybe…giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back, don’t expect love in return just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn’t, just be content that it grew in yours…

11. Maybe…you should dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life & one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do….ENJOY EVERY MOMENT..

Lesson on hate

2010-12-18T18:44:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! Here's what I want to talk about. HATE!

The world's not a peaceful place. No matter how many bimbos tell you that it is, it's not. There's so much conflicts going on, so much hate, so much war. So, what can we do to lessen this?

Simple. Don't hate. Sometimes, it may seem as if the easiest thing to do is to hate. But then, it doesn't solve anything. Trust me, I know. I used to be the kind of person who would just hate someone for doing something mean to me. But, really? That kinda just shows how immature I am. I'm not saying I'm mature now. But I am learning and I am trying to be.

For example, if someone offended you, don't hate him. Wait for an apology. If it comes, then good. If it doesn't come, don't hate him. I mean, it's good to apologize but then you can't hate someone just because they don't apologize for what they did wrong. Just continue smiling and hold you head up high. Think of the good things that that particular person had done and how much worse your life would be without him.

But if you really can't think of any, you don't have to hate him. You don't have to like him either. Just be neutral. Just have nothing to do with that person. Because if you do hate that person,

PERSON YOU HATE - 1
YOU - 0

I'm basically saying that if you hate that person, you only create bitterness to yourself. So, cheer up! (: Forgive and forget. It'll give yourself some much needed peace too! :)

Love everyday

Joshua.

Was I weak? Or were you strong?

2010-12-17T12:08:00.003+08:00

It's a story of a boy. Who has this huge crush on this girl for more than a year now. He confessed to her that he has a crush on her. It was awkward at first, but soon it got better.

Then the night every high school student is waiting for. Prom night. He asked her to be his date to prom. He thought they had chemistry, but sadly, another guy beat him to it. Crushed, this boy put on a straight face and tried to shrug it off.

When prom night came, he was planning to ask her to slow dance with him. But yet again, her date beat him to it. So, he just watched them slow dance by the side. Every move they made crushed a little bit more of his heart. Every smile they shared took away a smile from his face. Again, this boy put on a straight face and tried to shrug it off.

Now, this girl is leaving to another place. Migrating to another place. And this boy won't be able to see her for a heck of a long time. And it's just killing him. Now he had to get through his life without seeing another one of her smiles, feeling another one of her warmth, hearing another one of her laughs. But this boy put on a straight face and tried to shrug it off.

But now, when he's all alone in his room, he can't. His heart broke into a million pieces as he thought of what never can be. Hoping a friend would understand his pain. Wishing someone would be next to him. But it was 1.45 am. Who would be there next to him during that time? During the wee hours of the morning?

F*ck.

Gave you all I had

2010-12-14T22:23:00.000+08:00

Heyy guysssssss. Hey to my followers (if there's any..tsk tsk) Let's start with Sundayy! Sunday I went to the driving seminar for 5 hours with Jordan, Chan, Jon and a new guy I met called Joshua too. (This is really scary. Joshua was wearing the same shoes as I was during the seminar. So he said Joshuas have same taste -.-) haha so anyways after that the tutor sent me home! I was super tired that time but then Michelle asked me to confirm about going to surprise Lisa for her birthday. So off I went.

So yea, that night went to 1B to walkk. Then on Mondayyy. What did I do on Monday? Oh yea. I went to Nigel Chee's house to hang out and play Wii. My first time playing the Wii and IT WAS TOTALLY WICKED! Love the tennis ! hahaha

Then, today I just basically did nothing much, really. Just went to Suria to watch movie and baby sit my bro and his girlfriend -.- to watch rapunzel. It's actually really nice hahahaha I was so entertained.

Then now I just came back from Wisma, Warisan and CP to find my prom shirt. hahaha super tired but super productive. I NEED TO STUDY FOR JPJ LAW TEST SOON. Crap.

I should be superman, I've been so strong

Joshua.

Sleepy but don't want to sleep :/

2010-12-11T16:08:00.003+08:00

Yes the title's exactly how I feel now. AHHH I woke up super duper early this morning and was so excited to go for the ceramah thingy because Nigel's gonna be there. So I won't be too bored. Then when I reach there, Nigel Jason, Jordan was there so I was like even happier because I have even more friends there.

BUT THEN manatau, they say no more place already :/ So Jason and Nigel's tutor brought them to a place in Inanam where I don't know about so I didn't get to be with them and I have to go tomorrow alone which really sucks and I was super duper disappointed. But then, since of the change of plans and a few last minute arrangements, I went to City Mall with Angelica.

Then city mall was really really congested with people attending the Hobbycon thingy so we decided to take off and drive over to Centre Point! Saw Jane and Michelle Seck there. Then we ate then go starbucks to hang! I'm actually now in starbucks blogging now. Hahahaaha so yeaa. Using their wifi, but hey, at least I brought a drink, right? :P hahah Hazelnut Hot Chocolate, 2 thumbs up :))

So yea Later Im gonna walk over to youth later. Waiting for time to pass nowwwwwwwww. Hahahaha alright, guess that's it. Chow :)

If you fall, dust it off

Joshua.

Freedom Train

2010-12-08T20:20:00.001+08:00

Woot =) Freedommmmm! SPM’s finally over. I never thought this day would come! hahaha

Chemistry was kind ugly but Bio and Physics was surprisingly okayy! haha So now, I’m kinda excited for what the future holds. College and stuff. Can’t wait to get out and meet new people, start a new life etc. But I really have to admit, if I do go to a place far far far far away, I will definitely miss all my friends A LOT. They really helped me grow and they always have that special ability to carve a smile on a hurting man’s face. hahaha =)

So, just now right after SPM finished, I went out with my bro Jason to celebrate the first moments of freedom. hahaa awshum. We went to Damai and play pool and BK and Coffee Bean and stuff so yea. Stress is gone.

GONE.

And yea, if y'all wanna go out, just call me, beep me. *kim possible*

What shall I do now? hmmmmmmmmmm.

We might find a place in this world someday

Joshua.

From Mitran -.-

2010-12-04T17:11:00.000+08:00

First person on your mind as you woke up today

2010-12-04T16:53:00.000+08:00

First person on your mind as you woke up today,
either would be the source of your happiness,
or your deepest pain.

First person on your mind as you woke up today,
is either you will remember forever,
or be trying to forget hardly,

First person on your mind as you woke up today,
is either the person who has you on their mind too,
or the blame for not taking steps to draw them closer to you.

#2

First person on my mind as I woke up a few days ago,
is content with the love that they have,
but I know – Between I and the whole world,
could never ever desire you so much as I do;
could never ever be so mad for you as I do;
could never ever make you smile, in times of rain, in times of darkness,in times of sadness as sincere
as I do.

First person on my mind as I woke up that few days ago,
though I have never been wanted, never to be cherish so much by this moment,
that first person will always be the best one I would ever had.

Source: http://colinteoh.wordpress.com/

In the midst of SPM, here comes a post

2010-12-02T20:47:00.000+08:00

Yeah, that's right. I'm having SPM now and here I am blogging. Baad, Joshua. But AHH WELLS. Today is a self declared break for me, so I'm gonna rest for a while before dating my Chemistry and Biology books tomorrow.

So far ? SPM wasn't as horrible as some would think. Let's review all the individual subjects, shall we? :)

BM - It's okaays. The rumusan was about chocolates, so that kept me reading :)
Eng - It's alright, I wouldn't dare to say it's easy in case I get bad results.
History - Oh hell, this was the worst subject so far. Andrew Choo's tips SUCKS.
Maths - Safe :) hahaha
Moral - Safe, mostly because I memorized the definitions of all the values.
Additional Maths - It's alright, do-able surprisingly.
Physics - Mmhmm, this I'm more worried-ish, after Sejarah. Screwed up a bit here and there.

Two more subjects. Chem on Monday and Bio on Wednesday then it's FREEDOM!

So, now I'm not quite sure what to do after SPM. Should I get a job to get me occupied in the meantime? Hmm. If so, I want a job that's FUN. Not some lame ass boring job :P

Sorry, I'm picky like that.

Alright, I guess I'll continue until after SPM. Till then, CHOWWW :)

you'll stay in my heart forever and always

Joshua.

Photo courtesy of Michelle Lo

2010-12-02T20:38:00.001+08:00

Mini-Bitesized Post

2010-11-27T00:27:00.001+08:00

hahaha yeayurh! i have this urge to update my blog, but I don't have the mood to type really long. But we'll see how it goes. If I manage to type long, then it's not so mini or bitesized no more.

Well, today was an okay ish day. I didn't study which really pissed me off, somehow. Baad. I feel like, oh GREAT another 24 hours wasted when I could be studying. I don't to be getting my results and saying Oh shoot, I should have studied on that Friday. But I did went to Mr Lai's physics tuition, so I did learn something.

I slept through the whole afternoon .Then at night, went to church for the children worship conference thingy majiggi. It's the closing, too bad I couldn't be a musician there cos of SPM. darn. ahh well. I really wanted too eventhough I've played for the last two conferences. At least Pastor Stella did acknowledge us (Sam, Nick, Codi, Sam Lo) for being there to support! Then we went to McDonald to have supper. =D was quite fun. It really gave me time to relax and catch my breath in the midst of SPM. Cos SPM's so stressful and being with my church members just gives me this indescribable peace.

take me deeper, than i've been before

Joshua

Oh no, it's the weekends!

2010-11-20T16:55:00.001+08:00

Oh no, it’s the weekends! The next weekday would be one day before SPM and I’m still blogging, blogging away! Ahhh this is so scary. First day’s BM. I’m currently revising the novels, antologi and also kosa kata berdarjat tinggi to get higher marks. Wish me luck, fingers crossed!

The only thing I’m looking forward to today is youth. I mean, in youth I can really be happy and I can see the most genuinely nice people there. It’s like a family there, I’m so happy to be part of All Saints’ Cathedral’s youth. I really love everyone there. Hahaha okayyy, enough about the feelings.

I’m now watching TV. I especially love watching the travel channel as well as the cooking channel. Oh yea, and Spongebob! Jason recommended me to watch the fairly odd parents (?) is that the title? He said it’s nice! So might try watching it, he even told me the correct time when it’s one the TV! Which is 3pm every weekday. hahaha alright alright. Gonna chill a bit now, and relax (as if I’ve been working so hard for SPM) But really, I am hahaha. I’m not a study for a long time person, more like study when there’s an exam person. So yea, I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. Ahh well, wish me luck, I’m still gonna try my best.

when the darkness closes in, still I will say Blessed be the Name of the Lord

Joshua

Just something I'd like all the women to read :)

2010-11-19T22:45:00.001+08:00

Being a real woman is an art mostly pleasant, but demanding some skills and knowledge. As we all know, there are no unbeautiful women, there are women who don’t know that they’re beautiful. A woman is only what she makes it of herself. There are some tricks that make a woman the real one, and help her to bear that name proudly. These recommendations aren’t the rules. The only definite rule is the inner feeling of a woman that she is the one and the only, but never just one of a kind.

A real woman is independent. She’s always busy on her own business. It can be whatever – job, hobbies, interests. She has no time to deal with the problems and affairs of others. That doesn’t mean she is selfish and takes no compassion on others. She will always be there for her relatives and friends willing to listen to their complaints and to help.

A woman shouldn’t solve man’s problems. This prerogative is male . A man is the one supposed to take care of a woman.

A real woman can’t ever be had over the barrel. She is always well-dressed with her hair and make-up done. Be ready that anything can happen all of a sudden. You’ll say it is hard to look nice all the time – for a real woman it’s a habit.
A woman should always stay calm and relaxed, behaving as if nothing in this world really troubles her. All the attacks of nerves and hysterics are not for public. You’d better never let them see you cry. Tears have a strong effect on men, but don’t abuse it.

Money shouldn’t become the necessity of real woman’s life. If she has money she spends it, when she is short of money she doesn’t care, or just pretends she doesn’t.

A real woman always has a couple of really good and expensive dresses in her wardrobe. They play the role of a parade costume for cases when it’s necessary to make an impression.

One can say there are only “must do” and “must have” for a so-called real woman. But there are many “free to do, or not to do” for her either. The most are provided by men who are ready to forgive her almost everything for just one charming smile, which is supposed to be saying “sorry”.

A woman can let herself be late. 10-15 minutes late is almost on time. 45 minutes – he’ll be only glad that you finally appeared. It’s always better for a woman to be late, rather than to run in a hurry. Men tend to forgive a woman her mood swings, sudden changes of the decisions, promises forgotten and etc.

A real woman can let herself twist men round her little finger. She may stay mysteriously silent, complain that she’s bored, act stupid or start a passionate scientific argument. Nobody can make a woman answer a question if she doesn’t want to, and nobody can force her explain the reasons for doing/not doing this or that. Acting so capricious and unbalanced is a simple way to get a man attached to a woman. Don’t hesitate to make a man spend as much money on you as he can afford – he will never leave an object of capital investments.

A woman knows her worth, but makes everyone believe she’s priceless. Everything she does - she does it with elegance. She knows how to make men dance to her tune and she really enjoys it. She always stays independent, careless and free. She knows what she wants, and will never let anyone stay in her way. A real woman is quite self-confident not to care about the rumors or public opinion, holding her head up high.

If a woman wants to be a real one, she shouldn’t be afraid of changes and mistakes. It’s never too late to make another attempt.

you're beautiful, just the way you are ;)

Source: click here

Elegance, beauty, grace

2010-11-17T18:37:00.000+08:00

My mom don't wanna give me lunch money :(

2010-11-17T15:47:00.001+08:00

Lessons Learnt

2010-11-16T19:45:00.000+08:00

Yesh.SPM's in like less than one week and I'm still blogging. Bad sign, Joshua, bad. Today was the last day of school. Like, ever. I won't be going back to school after today, besides taking my SPM, of course. I hate the feeling man. As a sat on the bleachers today in the back of the hall while having my last assembly, I pondered on a lot of things.

1. How time really FLIES. I can still vividly remember my first day in school, when I was 13. I had my first love, da da da da.. No I'm kidding. When I was 13, I remembered me spilling a cup of instant noodles on Dean. I'm so stupid. But yea. I did. HAHAHA and he didn't kill me for it. hahaa

2. How innocent and unknowledgable (?) the Form 1's are. I remember when I was in the first form, how naive I was. Now I'm 17, and I've realized I've been through SO MUCH. The typical high school routine. I've been through the innocent crushes, crushes that last for more than a year, gotten my heart broken, broken hearts, and those stuff. I was thinking to myself, WOW. These things really thought me well.

3. How my teachers really love us. I know I don't say this enough, but I love all of the teachers. They have the passion to teach us, to give us extra classes instead of spending their time resting or with their family. They're so nice, especially Cikgu Rohana and Cikgu Bala.

Well, that's all I can think of now. If there are juniors reading my blog, here's some advice from me, personally.

People get hurt all the time. If you did get hurt, it's alright. I know it sucks getting hurt, but you have to get hurt, right? I remember my friend Luiz saying "You can't climb a smooth mountain" which I realize is very true. You have to go through roughness and tribulations in order to reach the top. You have to learn. Don't look at an obstacle saying, oh, I can't do this. YOU CAN. If you just believe. My gosh, I sound like a commercial. But anyway, it's true. Don't be down when you get hurt.

IF YOU FALL, DUST IF OFF.

So yea, be thankful to those people that hurt you. They taught you how to be a stronger person. I'm thankful for those who hurt me. I've learnt my lesson.

I know what I gotta do.

Save the world.

OK LAME.

nevermind, gonna get back to my books now. Bye y'all :)

everything happens for a reason

Joshua

2010-11-15T17:27:00.001+08:00

Cinderella walked on broken glass. Sleeping Beauty let a lifetime pass. Belle fell in love with a beast. Princess Jasmine chose a common theif. Ariel walked on land for love. Snow White barely escaped a knife. It was all about blood, sweat, and tears because love means facing your biggest fears.
We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly

A time for everything.

2010-11-14T11:02:00.004+08:00

Hey guys! I just realized something. This post is dedicated to all the nice people in my life. There's so many. I was lying on my bed last night, thinking. I was thinking how I'm not a nice person sometimes. Thinking about other people I've hurt and got angry at. I'm aware I'm not a very patient person. But I have SO MANY nice people around me.

First off, my parents. My parents may not be perfect, but hey, who can ever be? But still. I've been so impatient with them and I've made them so sad sometimes, so frustrated, so worried, so angry. Now all I think of is, Wow, they gave me life. They supported me, my family. My parents work hard everyday just to give us a decent meal to eat. They don't even have to. They can actually just buy us cheap buns and everything but then, they give us (my brothers and I) the best. My parents love us to death. But I'm so ungrateful for everything. I LOVE YOU, MOM. I LOVE YOU, DAD!

Next, my brothers. They're the ones that I turn to when I'm at home. I know I sometimes annoy them by playing the piano while they're watching football, or grab the remote from them, or just plain piss them off, but I love them so much. Gregory and Jireh. I love you. We keep so many secrets among ourselves like our girlfriends and stuff by not telling mom and dad. Eventhough when we're fighting, we still don't blab each others' secrets out to my parents. I know that's bad, but that shows that we've got each others' back! Gregory and Jireh spent countless times just playing the guitar and bass along with me and they have to hear me sing ==. Because I really enjoy music, so it makes me happyyy to sing! Hahahaha and sorry Greg, if I told you everytime that you can't even sing along to a song in key. I'm sorry, but that's true. teehee.
Last but not least, my friends! I've so many super nice friends that has been nothing but nice to me. Jane, Nigel Chin, Maya, Denise, Ze Kuan, Ze Hao, Nicholas, Codi, Chong, Michelle, Elfiena, Farhana, Angel, Elaine..among others...Oh gosh, these people are like my EXTENDED FAMILY. I once heard that friends are family God wants you to find by yourselves. These people really made me stronger and comfort me eventhough I've been a b*tch to some of them. They stand me. They're the nicest people around and I freaking love you all to death and to pieces and every fibre of your freaking being. I LOVE YOU ALL!

So what about you? I challenge you to dedicate a love post to people that you love. People you are grateful for. Acknowledge them. Let them know they're loved. Because people wants people to love them.

formspring.me

2010-10-29T09:58:00.001+08:00

For venting or for questioning http://formspring.me/insanewhore

formspring.me

2010-10-26T12:41:00.001+08:00

For venting or for questioning http://formspring.me/insanewhore

GERAK MY FOOT

2010-10-19T14:43:00.000+08:00

I'm having my exams now, it's called gerak gempur. LAME. Sorry i'm just not in the mood for exams.

And I never will be. History and Additional Maths was horrible. Nuff said.
But I kinda am looking forward to chemistry. Call me a nerd (:

So yeah I don't know why I'm updating. Maybe because I feel bored and I feel like I don't update enough. But do follow my twitter! I update that one more. hahaha :P

www.twitter.com/joshuaaaho

Sometimes, I just want to say, bitch fuck off. But I know better.

wong li xian baaaaaaaaa :P

2010-10-15T22:18:00.001+08:00

wong li xian baaaaaaaaa :P

Answer here

2010-10-14T00:47:00.001+08:00

I really miss you right now, with al my heart and with all my soul. With every fibre of my being. It sucks being like this, when you miss this person so much but you can't see them or when they're so far away. Oh goshhhhhhh. I miss you so much, you have no idea. I wish I could just say the word and you'd be lying here right next to me. I miss you, so much. So much.

We're the perfect two

2010-10-05T19:28:00.000+08:00

Bah naaaaaaa. I'm updating wheeee! haha So just got back from Miss Wong! She said I'm not dumb, just lazy. Kembang berabis ni. Not the lazy part, just the not dumb part. hahaha So I just got inspired and I'M gonna study even more intensively! I'm so weird like that.

My gosh, I just found out that we only go back to school on Wednesday. Thanks Nad and Raymond for telling me. If not kan, I sendiri SS go to school alone, punyalah kuyakk. hahaha I'm officially the weirdest person on earth. I just ate dinner and I feel super full. Now, I am hungry again after like what, 20 minutes? That's HORRIBLE! I need to stop feeling hungry D: Gaaaaaaaaaah.

SPM is drawing near. tick tock. I'm nervous! I don't wanna screw this up. No, I'm not gonna screw this up!

Moses Matthew

2010-09-21T21:40:00.002+08:00

someday, we'll forget the hurt, the reason we cried and who caused us pain.. We will finally realize dat the secret of being free is not revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way and own time..
After all, what matters is not the first but the last chapter of our life which shows how well we ran the Race..
SO, s...mile, laugh, forgive, believe and keep loving till the end..=)

Happy 16th of September

2010-09-16T13:14:00.000+08:00

Okay, time for a patriotic post. I rarely do this so yeah. Hahaha shocker? So anyways, it's Malaysia Day today! It's when Sabah and Sarawak joined the Peninsular to form MALAYSIA!

To tell you the truth, we all know that Malaysia's not the best country to live in. But, it's not the worst country to live in too! I mean, we're doing pretty decently if you ask me. Decently? Is that even a word? Yeah! I mean, it's like definitely peaceful most of the time, laws are still enforced, and stuff like that. I'm grateful, I'm grateful that this country is not poor, I'm grateful that this country cares about their people, I'm grateful that this country allows different religion to live together in harmony. Like recently, I attended this outdoor concert thingy in Christ church that has pretty loud music. And we didn't get complaints or we didn't get arrested for it. We're allowed to practice our religions. And contrary to popular beliefs, not all politicians are corrupted and not all politicians recorded their sexual experiences on DVD. So, yeah. I think we're doing pretty well.

So, yeah! Today, we celebrate Malaysia Day as an official holiday after like some 47 years? It's a shame that the government only realizes that this is a cause for celebration after so long, but hey, better late than never, right?

HAPPY MALAYSIA DAY EVERYONE! (:

भाई, मैं चिकन करी खाने के लिए चाहता हूँ

2010-09-15T21:16:00.000+08:00

Yo! haha Just got back from City Mall after buying work books for brotherrr. And after makan ice cream :') Sedap. Hahaha anyway yesterday was Efa's open house! Nigel came over to my house then we went over to Efa's house around 8! Gila sedap man the food! It's like falling in love again. The rendang, the laksa thingy majiggy, the chicken, the Iran fish thingy, the fruit punch. OOMPH I swear, I was in a food haven. Cos hari raya's the only time where I can eat Malay food :( Oh yeah. Note to self, NEVER hold a kuih makmur too firmly. Why?Cos it freakin' BURST and the flour landed on my pants :( Hahaha tulah bimbo tahap dewa.

The day before was Olivia's birthday partayyy! It was a surprise and we managed to make her cryyyyy :') AWW aren't we the greatest friends ever? Oli, if you're reading, you better be planning something for all of our birthdays too k? <3 haha Yeah, met lots of new people there like Zue, Tasha, Michy, Jeremiah, Bernard, Andrew who else ah? Ah banyak lah. hahaha. So happy we got to make someone happy on their birthday aww :)

But yeah, that's about it. Gotta go study now, didn't study the last few days and momma's making me feel all guilty inside :(

Rest assured

2010-09-09T11:43:00.000+08:00

Hey hey heyyyyyy! It's the middle of the holidays now! It's raya's eve. So yea.

YEAHYEAHYEAH/

But you know what sucks? It's the fact that I go out so infrequently this holidays. I've just been staying at home, studying. STUDYING MAN! For God's sake. I'm so useless! Ah well. It's like I have no life at all. I didn't watch movie AT ALL this week and I've just only been around, playing pool, chilling out, and stuff. My God. What happened to my social life? Ahaha.

*What social life? :P*

So neways, SPM's around the corner. And I'm pretty nervous and stressed out about it. See, that's why I'm studying my butt off. And piling on food. Cos, you know, food is good. I think I'm gonna be sick man. It's like I get cold really easily. Tulah this, result of not watching movies.

Oh yeah. One more thing. Having a conscience SUCKS! It's like, I did something bitchy to a person, and the old me wouldn't care how the person feel. But now, I'd actually feel bad. Like I switched off the computer when my bro was playing World of Warcraft cos he pissed me off. And now his game went unsaved. OMG I'm such a horrible person. SHITSHITSHITSHIT.

Sexy's my name.

2010-08-21T16:25:00.000+08:00

So the reason I'm updating is because someone in formspring actually asked me if I stopped blogging already. Wow right? I guess I really don't update often.

So here goes. Having my excel exams now. What rocks is that we're using excel questions as our forecast results so we can get kinda high-ish marks with the bocored soalans. but then, what sucks is that PHYSICS WAS A KILLER!

Ok, let's go through it one by one :D

Moral: I thought it was okay. Cos I memorized all the definisi and shit. BUT! My teacher told me I got the wrong nilai FFFUUUUUUUUUUH
BM: It was okay, decent.
English: It was greaat. Well, mostly because I love english. And I wrote about changes I'd like to see in my school. Habis I kasi bomb pengetua this. :\
Sejarah: It was okaaay. I have a bad feeling about structure questions and objective questions but I think I rocked the essay part cos I know the questions beforehand. Hell yeah.
Physics: Let's not even talk about it.
Maths: A breeze!!!!! Most relaxing day so far.

And next week zomg! It's those killer science subjects like biology (damn you) , add maths and chemistry! aahhh! Ahhhhhhhhh! I can't wait for SPM to be over so I can take a breather. I can't use my brain too much. Cos, you know. I'm not exactly a brain person. So yeah.

INSTALLATION NIGHT :
16 OCTOBER 2010
Shangri-La's Tanjung Aru Resort
Theme: Masquerade.

Anyone's going? (:

Who am I gonna lean on when times get rough?

2010-07-23T17:22:00.000+08:00

It’s Friday! I have to apologise that I haven’t update in a while. I just read through people’s posts only lately. haih. So I should update. So anyways, today was the prefect’s retirement ! I am so happy I finally don’t have to be a goody two shoe and pretend that I love the school and shit. So yeah. I’m glad.

And next Monday is my school test, damn. And and , after that I’ll bet there’s gonna be a series of exams and stuff , cos the education minister being so awesome as he is, just believes in memorizing and cramming up stuff up your head all for the sake of exams. Hell, I’ll bet someone can actually get 9A’s without understanding what the person’s learning just as long as that person memorizes everything. Sorry, but that’s my opinion. And in my blog, my opinion counts. Shit, that sounded bitchy. Ah wells.

Not about you

2010-06-26T22:34:00.001+08:00

Heyoo! It's that time of the month again.

For a post, I mean. Really, I try to update often but it just seems like I don't know what to write. Hahaha. So today I just went to 1Borneo to hang out with my littlest brothaa cos I need to teman him go to some award receiving thingy. So yeah, I did and I saw Valerieee Limmmm! Bam! Didn't know she was going to be there so yeah, we ditched our siblings for a little while to walk around 1Borneo but too bad it was empty so yeah. We were in the basement when our bros texted us and said that we have to come back up (1B ballroom) quick so we hurried. Valerie was wearing heels so she couldn't hurry as much. hahaha, but I waited for her, I'm so nice kan? Hahah. and we planned to walk in with the VIPs but we didn't. Sad case.

Then Valerie ditched me.. haha i think she had to hurry back cos her shoes were killing her so me and my bro just walked around 1B. I bought a new pencil case cos I lost mine in church, grr. And then we went to Kenny Rogers for some lunch, and then my bro wanted to go check out teddy bears in something different for his someone someone. hahaha. then we got starbucks just in time for my tuition in the afternoon. phew.

Moving on, today was suppossed to have some evangelistic what so what not thingy in church, so yeah, no thank you. Decided to stay at home to be in front of the computer instead.

Nice huh?

So, school's coming again next monday. Oh no. I'm not reeaddddyyy. Another week of pure boredom. Kuit is starting to get on my nerves everytime he announced we have to bring old newspaper. Do i look like the kind who would lug old trash around? Nada. But at bright side, I can get updated on new scandellous gossips :)

Not a half of two

2010-06-13T21:11:00.000+08:00

It's halfway through the holidays now. I'm really tired now eventhough it's just like, 9pm? Don't know what I did. And Nick won't stop punching the lower part of my arm, where the muscle part is. Hurts like hell. Still aching now. Hahaha, I've got him back anyway.

So, I serious think I should go to the IU Day preps EVERYDAY man. It's so nerve wracking to think about. And plus my piano exams next week and there's one more song I haven't finish learning!!!! AAAAAAARGGGGHHH! Don't wanna think about it.

Basically, I don't know what to write now and nothing's been going on in my life; it's all study study study for me. And if you all got suggestions for me on what to do after SPM, please let me know. Need to keep my options open.

Who else is going to be there if it isn't you?

Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret

2010-06-10T21:45:00.001+08:00

PS THE FOLLOWING POST ISN'T ABOUT ONLY ONE SITUATION. THERE ARE SEVERAL. IF YOU'RE DON'T LIKE READING WHAT I'M FEELING, THEN LEAVE. No one forced you to read this. It's my blog, I'll say what I want.
I need to move on. I know the truth now. But how? I am still clinging on like anything even when I know the truth. Why? I'm afraid of loving again. I'm afraid that I'll never love you the way I loved you. I'm afraid that this feeling won't end and when I finally thought I moved on, seeing you just brings back the pain.

I'm not like this. People keep on telling me that there's always someone out there who loves you for you. But how sure are they? Tell me how to move on. I need to know. I want to move on, completely, with no strings attached. You asked me to move on as if it was that easy to just snap your finger and BAM. But, the truth is. It hurts.

The truth is that it sucks having to think back about how we've been and how close we were. How different we used to be and how we are now. I hate thinking about it. I hate the thought of losing you. But, how can I lose something I never had? How long must I wait until I can love someone again? How do I move on?

For sun, moon and bright shining stars, I thank you God.

2010-06-06T10:51:00.002+08:00

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzuuuuuupppp?

I just got back from church. Lately didn't update much because. I'm lazy. Teehee. And since some people (Nadirah) complained that my blog is too full with formsprings and reblogs, I'm gonna write an actual post now. OKAY?

So, nothing much really. These two weeks of holiday probably won't feel like a holiday because

a. SPM is near
b. SPM is near
c. SPM is near

That's three very good reasons why it won't feel like a holiday and the person who is gonna see my face the most would be my reference books. Nice huh?
So, lately the stress has been really getting to some of my friends. Yeah. So, now they're more into books than into being a friend. Sad? I know. But by the time things will return to normal, it'll be after SPM and by that time, everyone will leave to continue their studies. This is it, then?

formspring.me

2010-06-01T18:31:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/insanewhore

hello~

2010-06-01T18:28:00.001+08:00

yoyo! didn't know you got also. :D

Ask me anything

hey gay ;)

2010-06-01T18:26:00.001+08:00

hey lesbo. AHAHA =P

Ask me anything

hi boy :)

2010-06-01T18:25:00.001+08:00

hey ass ;p hahahaha

Ask me anything

Have You Ever

2010-05-31T17:08:00.001+08:00

"Have You Ever?"

[Chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
[Chorus]

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
[Chorus]

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep
[Chorus]

Smelling like smoke.

2010-05-08T21:14:00.001+08:00

Yeah, I really smell like smoke now. I just got back from church after helping people barbeque and eat :D Barbequed chicken wings, crab sticks, sausages, nuggets, and stuff like that.

Apparently we were told that nuggets could actually be barbequed, so yeah we tried barbequeing it. So yeah, bought a pack and barbequed it. didn't taste it though :/
Hopefully no one got stomach ache by the barbeque-ing we did. It's my first time. I won't know if the chicken's done or not. hahaha. I tukang flip chicken, sausages, and tukang apply honey and tukang kipas api jak. hahaha.
I think the smoke is starting to get into my head. I can't think right now. Haha. Tomorrow's Mother's Day. I can't think of anything to give my mom so, since I have to play a Mother's day song for the choir to sing in church, I'll consider that my gift to her :D
And I can't get her anything because
1. I don't know what to buy. I know it's the thought that count, but I want something that she'll cherish everytime.
2. I don't have the time cos I've been so busy with after school programmes and tuitions and studies and stuff.
3. But the most important thing of all, I don't have the moolah. I'm broke. No money. Nada. Nil. Uh - oh. Gotta start saving again.

So anyways, had Bala's extra class just now. Chong said he wanted to walk to a KFC one day and eat cheesy wedges there because he wants to gain weight (I just had KFC cheesy wedges for supper, coincidence?) So I suggested that after Bala's class, he can walk to KFC in Likas there with Nad and buy all the cheesy wedges he want. So he thought it was a good idea, and was like so pumped up about it. Then, after like 5 10 minutes of excitement, he realized he didn't bring money.

I know, right?

Sweat lah that boy. Just makes you wanna knock your head on the table. So neways, had chem tuition after that. Sat with Bryan Peter Soon with the English accent, and boy, can he TALK! haha. I couldn't concentrate and stuff and he was asking the teacher loads of questions. So yeah. But I'll consider that as my revision.
Then went to church, yadah yadah, came home smelling like smoke, and BAM! Now on the com. Another saturday well spent.

Happy birthday Michelle Lo! It's so sad that you have to leave youth for another career :( But, having you as a cell leader was definitely a blessing. We'll miss your charm, your perkiness and you being so fun to be around with! Sorry about smashing the birthday cake into your face. It was all planned! hahaha. But luckily got another real cake for you to eat xD Bye Mich, we'll miss you :D

To let go

2010-05-08T20:57:00.001+08:00

To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about it, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride, and its not about how you appear, and it’s not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isnt blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind in confidence for the future. Letting go is learning, experiencing, and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. letting go is growing up. it is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path and let yourself free.

Great, greater, greatest

2010-05-07T21:23:00.001+08:00

Hah. Exams coming in a week. Extra classes tomorrow. The usual stuff maan. But yeah, gotta keep going. It's SPM year this year. It's for my future, yadah yadah yadahh. STUDY! I just got off studying Sejarah. I stopped after 2 chapters realizing if I carry on reading, nothing will go in. So yeah, since I was feeling sappy lovey dovey, I decided to write a lil' somethin.

Fly

I’ve already tried my best

I know what we had is really gone

And the laughter we shared

The tears that we shed

All seems so far away

I’ve got to let you fly

Watching you take off hurts

But I know it’s for the best

And when you smile without me

That’s a sign, you’re doing fine

I need to let you go

I need to stop thinking about myself

It’s for your happiness; it’s for your joy

Promise me when you go

I’ll always have a place in your heart

I need to smile on my own

I need to stop waiting by the phone

Hoping that you’d call

Hoping that you’d miss me

Because you won’t call, you won’t miss me

You have him now

Love has its perks

Love has its flaws

Though I’m crushed now

I know however I’ll find the strength to carry on

Smile, my dear

You deserve your happiness

Now as you fly away from me

Don’t look back but look ahead

You’ll always have a place in my heart

You take that part of my heart in your hands

Ever so fragile, ever so scared you’ll hurt me again

But now, be free.

Qoute

2010-04-30T15:25:00.002+08:00

everytime i feel like shit, i just stop feeling like shit and be awesome. true story.

-Kara Harris, love that bitch

If we were a movie

2010-04-30T14:54:00.000+08:00

Yeahh!
TGIF!

It's the weekends again! I'm so happy can get to rest. I'm going to this conference thingy in Skyline tonight, and tomorrow whole day. So, hope I'll have fun and there'll be some difference in my life and others as well.

School was the usual, I guess. The reality to SPM really knocked me hard on the head. I don't think I'm gonna be ready in time. I need to start studying.

And our school drama team didn't win :( They did well though, but not good enough to get a place, I guess. But oh well, at least they gained experience and everything. As well as new friends, like I bet they won't know who Lester is untill they joined drama. Awesome :D He's one heck of a personality.

They also had auditions for teachers day too. :D Watched a few. Scarlette can sing! haha. And I love Jon Lim's voice man! So nice oh! I hate him. Ahaha ;p

I wanna sleep now. Chao =P!

ABORTION

2010-04-18T12:53:00.002+08:00

WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHO ABORT OH? YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN SO CARELESS TO GET YOURSELF PREGNANT THEN NOW YOU WANNA KILL?!? AND THEN SOME GO THROW AWAY THE BABY IN THE RUBBISH HEAP AND THOSE PLACES LIKE THAT AND LEAVE THE BABY THERE TO STARVE! WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE NOWADAYS? HAVE SOME RESPONSIBILITY! IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITHOUT ANY PROTECTION OR EVEN WANT TO HAVE SEX AT ALL BEFORE MARRIAGE, HAVE SOME RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BABY AND NOT JUST KILL YOUR BABY TO MAKE LIFE EASIER FOR YOU. IMAGINE IF ALL YOUR PARENTS KILLED YOU TO MAKE THEIR LIVES EASIER! WHAT WOULD YOU FEEL? UGH. AND THEN AGAIN SOME GUYS ARE LIKE JERKS AND JUST HAVE SEX WITH A LADY WITHOUT ANY PROTECTION AND GET THEM PREGNANT THEN DON'T EVEN WANT TO HELP THE LADY TAKE CARE AND RAISE THE BABY! IT'S EQUAL RESPONSIBILITY! IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT THE BABY THEN GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION OR GIVE IT UP TO A MARRIED COUPLE WHO CAN'T HAVE BABIES!

I don't wanna miss a thing

2010-04-09T18:10:00.001+08:00

Yo yo yo! Just got back from Nigel’s house after practicing the song for bakat. Super nervous now. I’m like gonna be so excited for bakatness. Hope everything goes smoothly. I was just playing with his iPhone and playing with all the features. haha, lucky kid.

Neways! Went to ASCF too. And now, I got a Bio folio to finish up. And one hour to physics tuition. I think got test oh :( Ugh. So not ready.

Title : EASTER

2010-04-04T10:50:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! It's Easter! I ate boiled egg just now. Bwahahahahakkkss.

I love it that whenever I go church or youth, there's just this very perky me coming out even when my day sucked. Youth is like my own heroin. It's like, it makes me happy. So glad.

Hehe.

So anyways, later going over to Nigel's house to do some practice. Then , off to school tomorrow and BAM! A new week. A new challenge. A new..cheh. Sound so lame.

See you guys at school tomorrow!

The reason that I'll fly

2010-04-01T21:56:00.000+08:00

Time for an actual post at last.

So, High school. Learnt soo much. I've been hurt, found love, lost love. And dramas happen.

But I'll certainly look back with a smile and say, I wish I could go back there.

So, nothing much really. I've been disappearing like lately. And I don't even know why I'm typing this. I'm probably too messed up now. I'm in no mood to do anything now. I've been hurt recently. But, just to make it clear, the person who hurt me did it for the right reason. I need to move on. Though it hurts. It'll all get better in time.

If you see me, don't hestitate to give me a hug. I need as my friends even more now.

I'm dreaming.

2010-03-04T16:09:00.001+08:00

Hey! Just got back from school. In school, there was this 2 puppies that were so ADORABLE! huney, you just wanna eat them up. But you wont, cos they’re so adorable. And dogs taste nasty. I mean, I never eat dogs and all but it’s so disgusting. :D So, enough about the randomness.

On the way home from school, I fought with my mom over something very small. She was so pissed at me when we were fighting that she started saying pukima and all those. Haihhhhh.

I wish there was someone out there who I can say that cared about me.

I need rain, rain, rain

2010-03-03T16:57:00.001+08:00

I'm burning up in here! Thank God for air con huney. I'll be like on fire if there is none. No rain for like, what 1 month? It's like the Sahara in here!

Di mana engkau, oi hujan?

So, today... In school got kokum. So stayed back in school until 4.00/ Some gotong royong thing was done. So yeah. :D We just cleaned around the place, blah blah blah. And, I LOVE AIS KACANNG! OOMPPHH! Sedaaaap dong oii!! Tambah aiskrim lagi, HAPPINESS!!!

So anyways, back to normal stuff. School test next week, kicking off with addm3. sad, i know. Ugh. Oh well, better to get it over with. I hope I improved xD

I need your strength to carry on. Don't hurt me, please.

Valentines Day / Chinese New Year

2010-02-14T10:13:00.001+08:00

So yeah. This year sucks. Valentines Day fell on the first day of Chinese New Year :( Which means, I can’t have dinner with my loved ones for valentines day.

UGH. I really wanna just hang out with my friends during Valentine’s Day because lately a lot of things have been bothering me and being with my friends just keeps me happy and busy. But noo, I have to have this family reunion thing AGAIN (we had one last night) and they’ll just be small children in dresses and pigtails running around screaming their small annoying hearts out. I better have lots of ang pows. It better be worth it.

Darn it. I wanna hang out with my friends to have a dinner party or something like that to celebrate Valentine’s Day with. Those are the people I love the most. Next year won’t be possible, I think, cos everyone will be away studying or something! F*%$!

What I feel

2010-02-10T17:48:00.005+08:00

I love you. I know that there are a lot of people hotter than you but you're still the one I want. When you avoid me, it makes me want to talk to you even more. I text you and see if you reply just to make sure you're okay. You being next to me not talking is not awkward for me, it's comfortable knowing that you're next to me. When you smile at me, my heart melts as I smile back. You make me feel wanted. I try avoiding you but I don't have enough will power.

What I feel

2010-02-10T17:48:00.003+08:00

Heeehuuuu

2010-02-06T17:13:00.000+08:00

Time to actually make a serious post! Hey guys! It's a saturday and we had school because of some replacement holiday thing. See, it won't be called a holiday if we had replcement classes. Ugh. Anyways, basically did nothing at school today. During add maths, was busy doing add maths stuff. Then from then onwards, hang out with A class people! Laughed like crazy! We laughed at super weird things like panadol, oxygen, carbon dioxide and swimming. hahahaha. So yeah, looking forward to Maya's party tonight :D

1Malaysia?

2010-01-25T21:59:00.001+08:00

Hey guys. Short update. Today at school before recess I wasn't feeling well. Then after Polo Mint, BAM! Sugar rush and started high fiving Maya like crazy. hahaha.

Went to Raymond's house just now with Dean, Victor and Naqib to do English Oral. At least we got some work done kan? Speaking of work done, we walked from Food City all the way to Raymond's house. So we better be losing lots of weight.

Just got back from tuition! Kuit was laughing at his own jokes and talking and flirting with girls as usual. So, nothing new.

Ps I hate fever and headache.
Pss Jason, Michelle, Haseef, Syaza, Farararar, and whoever that I missed out their name, good luck for tennis tomorrow. Y'all better bring back at least a prize for AS :D

Here comes the weekends!

2010-01-22T12:45:00.001+08:00

Yaay! Before we know it, it’s the weekends again! Boom babbyyy! So, this morning in school I wasn’t feeling very good. I had Chemistry Peka to finish and Add Maths plus I have stomachache. But after recess, all is well!

Bough chips to eat in class during BM xD Bang Maily screwed Jerry for eating in class yesterday and there I was stuffing my face with chips. Oh well, he don’t know how it’s done :D Everyone eats during his class! Seriously. Teacher of the year?

Tonight got tuition! Then tomorrow got tuition also!!! Nastaaaaaay! But actually I’m looking forward for it, dunno why. Oh well!!!! Chau-ness!

Ps Dean, Elf will kill you for looking at her in her tudung

Pss Someone give me photoshop tutorials!

Psss I’m hungry

Pssss Nigel, I will still hunt you down.

Sunshine please???

2010-01-20T16:12:00.000+08:00

Just got back from school todayness! :D So, school was normal, me Lixian, Olivia and Chong were talking about breakups and love stuff as well as how to pretend to be someone's boyfriend. (LiXian started that one) So yeah, we're all laughing like crazy during physics, and FLY didn't care. She just stared. As usual. She's a very lame teacher. Moving on

Tomorrow's our last sports practice together with rusted. BOO-YEAHH! Dunno why but lately my mood is like very lifted. :D I'm so happy. Happy. Happpyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, my cousin is selling Contact Lenses imported from Korea. It's called Geo Lens. Go to her blog to read more about it~!~! Support Korean Industries (wtf?) but still! Support my cuzzie wuzzie! Help make business. Her blog is here

Ps: You're so cute when you smile
Pss: If Lim Sok Hoon make me do one more graph, I'm gonna die
Psss: If I am going to have to run 2 rounds around the field tomorrow, I'm gonna die as well
Pssss: Jason, get well soon
Psssss: Nigel, I'ma hunt you down.

Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, ...

2010-01-19T19:35:00.000+08:00

*smiles* I skipped school today cos I got fever! (That's my story and I'm sticking to it) And I so don't want to go back to school tomorrow. I heard there's a lot of assignments that needs to be handed in by tomorrow. F*ck.

Haih. So, basically did nothing at home, afternoon went to music lessons and add maths tuition. Now at home, suppossed to be studying but I'm online. Sighs, temptations are everywhere.

I decided I want to do A Levels or Form 6 as my foundation. A levels where to do dunno yet, but if I'm doing Form 6, I'll be going to La Salle like Jason. So at least I'll have a friend there. I heard La Salle's Form 6 is the best. I hope so. Bad part : Very little girls. Only got girls in Form 6. *horny smile* Is it worth it? I hope so.

So, Nigel wants me to stress out about the IU Day bazaar with him also so I'm looking up countries with good culture (i.e. dance, food etc.) So, suggestions?

Lucky what?

2010-01-15T18:19:00.002+08:00

Heya. It's finally the weekends again! Awesome. I need a break. After like1 and a half months of not studying, 1 week of going to school is like hell. But maybe that's because of the sports. Ahh well, might be skipping it on Monday. Demerit lah. Useless threats. It would be better if you actually demerit us if u say you will. Heard that, Datin ?

Weather is so nice. Feet are freezing, but sleep tight :D Wheeeee! Listening to instrumentals of songs. Hee =) Went around to talk to interactors in school . Far and Elf tia mau Nigel and I see them in tudung. Hahaha. I still dont know why.

I'm a trainwreck in the morning, a bitch in the afternoon

2010-01-08T15:05:00.000+08:00

Ahh. At last I'm updating. Today just finished the first week of school. Next Monday and Thursday Henthorne got sports practice. Weirdly enough, I'm looking forward to it. I'm planning to enjoy my last Hari Sukan, and I freaking hope and pray that it will be in the Sports Complex. Got lekor baah. Lekor is good. Unhealthy, but good.

So, I've been trying to not get hurt. I've been avoiding this person. But should I? It's my last year already. I'm really blur. I wanna get you outta my, outta my head..........

Bing Bong

2009-12-29T21:53:00.002+08:00

Heya! Just got back from the new Yoyo in Lintas. The drink was as usual. But there's a new addition to the yoyo menu. Croissants, apparently. So decided to give it a try. It wasn't delicious, but I ate a lot xDD It's somehow addictive :P

So yeah, can't wait for Nigel's party tomorrow. Hope there's booze :DD

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T15:55:00.000+08:00

It's Christmas babbyy!!! Hahahaha. I'm so excited! Yesterday, today and tomorrow was and is and is going to be a busy day for me. But oh well...it's christmas now!!!!! Better enjoy it cos the next one is in 365 days! OK, I sound so lame. Anyways, about 1 week and it's 2010 and a little bit over one week and we'll be starting our lives as seniors (FORM 5)!!! hahaha. we can bully those freshmans!! haha. not that we haven't already. So yeah. Our last year in All Saints is going to start soon. Get ready...

I'm alive

2009-12-17T20:34:00.000+08:00

Yup, updating to let you guys know I'm still alive. hahaha. Sorry for not updating so long. Was too busy with church stuff, hang outs, and christmas stuff. Will update an actual post when I can finally catch my breath.

16 sixteen!!!!!

2009-12-04T19:29:00.002+08:00

Hey guys! It's my birthday today! wheee...turned 16 officially and FINALLY! gawd. I'ma december baby, that's why have to wait so long. Oh well.... So, today had a freakin blast with my freakums :) Nigel, Nigel Chee, Jason and Chong. The others can't go cos SPM or in KL. So watched movie, ate Fish and co (fries wasn't nice :( ) and then starbucks and then walk around! Basically that's all we did but, hey, when you're with your loved lones, you're bound to have fun, right? ahahah

So yeah. Thanks for the wishes on facebook, guys. Cramming up my inbox and notifications, but it's a good thing. hahahhaa :D

rantsrantsrantsrants

2009-12-02T20:47:00.001+08:00

What the hell? Just cos you're my parents and I'm your son doesnt mean you can just ask me to do anything you want. What the fuck man? Like, when I try to negotiate with my parents, they wouldn't listen. I asked them why won't they change their mind, and they say, BECAUSE I SAID SO. What a great reason. This is so ridiculous!

They always say they have a reason for everything, and BECAUSE I'M YOUR FATHER or BECAUSE I SAID SO is not a reason. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but it's not a reason! It's just an excuse so things will go easier for them. They keep telling me how stressed they are and how good my life is? I'm a student. I have my own stress to worry about. I've no time to worry about my parent's stress. I have a life! Fucking god man!

You've spin me aaround and around

2009-11-30T20:56:00.002+08:00

Boom! Just got back from church after the whole afternoon of organ training. Organ so hard to play oh. It's like your hands and feet and eyes need to be super coordinated. And at the same time, you also need to balance yourself. But oh well, the organ is a beautiful complex instrument. Very majestic, the sound it gives.

So neways, I did go to tennis like I said I maybe would. heeee. I better lose 10 pounds already. 2 hours of tennis. And looking for hot girls in short skirt with hot legs but there's none :( Got one big mama where short skirt. Not a good sight.

Yeah, I want to tell you I want to see you everyday. I hate the holidays cos I can't see you that often. MISS YOU OHH. I don't wanna tell you I miss you cos that'll be a little bit desperate. OK, a big bit desperate.

A little bit longer

2009-11-30T08:34:00.001+08:00

I watched A Christmas Carol already!!! It's nice! Got some scenes that scare you wan oh. I was like closing my ears...hahaha. Sorry. I'm a wimp, I'll admit.

Wanted to watch new moon one bah. Tapi, the time not ngam. Damn man.

I'm gonna turn into a better person. No more F word. Seriously. If you hear me say F word kan, slap me.

I've known you too well

2009-11-27T21:53:00.001+08:00

Hey guys. Long time didn't blog oh. So, yeah. Going to now.
The worship conference just ended. Darn those participants who kept requesting for encores. ugh. Have to stand while playing the keyboard. For like what, 45 minutes of worship? And I have to stand on 1 foot cos my other foot have to use for the pedalling. So tired man. My ankle is aching like mad now.

Oh well. It was fun anyway. Who knew Blessed Be Your Name can be made techno? Love the synthesizer. Trance babbyyy!!!

I need to work out! Seriously, might be going to play tennis this Sunday. Hope can lose weight xD I better lose weight. If not, I'm gonna be a whale :(

:D I'm feeling perky now! Dunno why. Watched Oprah just now. About the Science of Sex Appeal. oohh. Very cool oh. Scientifically, they said Brad Pitt has the best features. On a scale of 1 - 10, brad is 9.3. And the average human is like 4-5. So that's really high. No one ever got prefect score yet.

coughs

2009-11-23T09:13:00.001+08:00

Shit, coughing now.

OMGeeee!!! I found myself a new hobby! Playing pool!! It's soo awesome! The feeling you get when the ball goes into the holey thingy, the sound it makes when the ball hit each other, aaahhhh. loves.

Moving onn, tomorrow is the worship conference. That means today I need to work twice as hard during practice. Practice during 10am - 4pm and then 7pm - 9.30pm. Ohmaaahhhggaawd. I know, right? So long.

Anyways, Christmas is coming! It's gonna be awesome, the thrill of getting presents, christmas trees, singing christmas songs, FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAAAAAAhhh!

I'm hyper now! Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhe :))) Weh weh weh weh weh weh weh weh! weehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhe. BAM!

Reblogged from Jack's blog

2009-11-21T09:31:00.001+08:00

Readers, I kinda agree with the point that parents (whether in purpose or not) always put their own children to shame. They discouraged the children and destroy their own children's reputation. This is very dangerous. It will in fact make their children disrespect them and hate them even more. However, I do not understand one thing, "Why did the majority of parents destroy their children's reputation? And when the children rebel against them, they will say 'My children are very rude to me and always go against me!'"

Parents need to be careful of their words and actions. Unnoticedly, the children will hate their parents for life. Before they complained about their children's rebellions, they must think why their children acted in that way. The parents must indeed be responsible in what they had said and done to their children. They must be a good model for their children. Sorry, no offence... Some parents are really ridiculous!

Most parents (especially the Chinese) normally put their children into shame when they were having conversation with others, by saying to others...
"My son is very stupid."
"Wow! Your daughter is beautiful. But my daughter is very ugly."
"Look at your son, he is brillant. But my son is stupid."
"She know nothing, very useless one."
"Ha ha ha... Sorry, my friend. My daughter's hair is very ugly, right?"
"My son is a lazy pig. Always sleep. He knows nothing."

...or saying this to children
"Why is your hair so ugly?
"Why are you so ugly?"
"So stupid! So useless!"
"Look at your cousin. Why are you so stupid?"
"Very stubborn child. Always quarrel with me!"
"I tell you shut up! I am your mother (father)."
"Stop talking to me. Whatever I say is correct."

...or saying this to others when they are in the wrong (to cover their shame).
"Sorry. I am late because of my stupid child."
"Sorry. My son bah! Very stupid! Always make mistakes!"

...or saying this to their children when they rebel.
"What have I done wrong to my children? Why are they so stubborn?"
"I have many useless children. None of you wanna help me."
"Now you grow up, you leave me alone. You do not love me anymore."
"In future, when you have children, you will understand how I feel."
"Why am I suffering so much? You all are really useless!"
"No one understands me. I am so stressed and tired. And you children keep on giving me problems."

I am not critizing about "parents". I hope the parents will understand their children. Even though parents play importantly in supporting the family, even though parents might be stressed in their own lives, even though parents might have sad moments, PLEASE DO NOT HURT CHILDREN'S FEELING. It is not worth it when you have your children hating you. In conclusion, children are NOT toys. They need to be cared and loved. They are HUMAN! They publicly shamed their own children, do they know that the reputation of their children will be destroyed entirely? Where is their praise and compliments?

I show compassion towards this miserable girl. I truly understand h

Publish Post

ow she felt. Her heart has broken into thousand pieces. All I can do is to ask my Heavenly Father to heal her wounds. As a brother in Christ, I comforted her by saying...

"My friend, you are precious in God's eyes. God will not put you to shame. Jesus loves you."

Ephesians 6:4
"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

Advice?

2009-11-19T08:32:00.000+08:00

Advice for guys.
When she acts shy - Say I Love You.
When she runs from you - Chase her.
When she puts her face near yours - Kiss her..
When she kicks and punches you - Hold her tight.

When she is silent - She's thinking of how to say I love you.
When she ignores you - She wants all you attention.
When she pulls away - Grab her by the waist and never let go.
When you see her at her worst - Tell her she's Beautiful.

When she screams at you - Tell you love her; But you have to mean it.
When you see her walking - Sneak up behind her and grab her by the waist.
When she's scared - Hold her and tell her everything will be okay cause she's with you.

When she looks like something is the matter - Kiss her and tell her not to worry.
When she holds your hand - Play with her fingers.
When she says she's cold - Move closer
When she walks away and looks in the distance - Walk up beside her and talk to her.

When she flirts with you - never turn her down or ignore her.
when its just you and her in the room - Ask her to stay a little longer.

You make me feel brand neeeeeeew

2009-11-18T08:03:00.000+08:00

Hey guys. Here's an actual post after reblogging so much stuff on Tumblr. It's seriously Nad's fault. When I told her my tumblarity was like 4, she laughed. So, I need to reblog stuff.

Anyways, lately been involved in church stuff. November is gonna be busy with that. I need to go out! OUT OUT OUT!

watch movie, bowling, pool, tennis, jog. Anything now at this point. Speaking of tennis, I heard tennis can help you lose weight fast! I'm so playing it everyday if it's true. Anyone care to join?

OMG, you guys. You know what I'm addicted to now? Chocolate waffles. It's like I always have this craving for chocolate waffles. But I thought only pregnant people have cravings? I hope I'm not pregnant.

You've spinned my head right round

2009-11-15T20:22:00.000+08:00

Boy am I tired. Phew. So neways, it's a sunday. Woke up super early to play piano in church. Ugh. Then basically do nothing. Today was suppossed to go out with the gang but, nyeh. Was busy. I need to plan something fun to do.

So, my november schedule might have just been jam packed with children worship conference. We've put so much details in the music and I doubt that the children will actually appreciate our work.

Gonna turn in now at like 8.22pm. Night :D

Guess it wasn't meant to be

2009-11-11T21:22:00.001+08:00

It really hurts when you found out that this person isn't meant to be with you.

Yeah. That really sucks man. I want to hate you, but I can't. You know how they always say there's always someone out there for you. What if you know this someone is your special someone you wanna share your life with? What if this someone don't think so? I don't know if you guys get what I mean. I'm just feeling crappy now.

Like, always there's this feeling where you wanna spend the rest of your life with. Like, this person is THE ONE. But then, this person keep on hurting you like crazy. And you try to shake it off like it didn't matter. But deep down, it's freaking killing you. I know, it's freaking killing me now. How can I move on? I'm like genetically programmed to be with you.

Don't you feel what I feel?

Class Party

2009-11-09T17:01:00.000+08:00

So yeah. It's our class party today! Wasn't really expecting to have fun in my class (boohoo). But then it turned out pretty well. Loads of ppl bring food even when they're not told to. Like Luqman suddenly bring spaggheti. BAM! Srumplicious!

So, actually we ordered nasi ayam. And we asked Cikgu Lim Sok Hoon to come teman us go outside to get the chicken rice from Hasyim Cafe, which is next to Amin Cafe, which is opposite Dayang Cafe, which is next to Mayang Cafe.

BAmming!

So the lady there decided to give us a small discount. By small i mean small percentage. So we went to buy more snacks. So that's the advantage of bringing a maths teacher out buying stuff. She was doing all the math. Yeah, we had 60 sens extra. But our teacher just grabbed six sweets. She said she doesn't want even a cent of our class fund to go to the school. hahahaha. so mean?

Then went to 4A (as usual, haha) to hang out and SS!!! Great party this year. gonna miss form 4. Next year Form 5 pula. Matilah. SPM

1, 2, 3, I don't mean you and me

2009-11-08T20:29:00.002+08:00

Hey guys, Weekends are so exhausting for me. Might not be a long post. I'm still alive, but barely. So neways, I got this necklace thingy from a family friend. It's some Quantum Science thingy. Not sure what it does, but . . .?

Anyone, care to explain??? I think it has some positive energy thingy. Like wtf?

One More Week...

2009-11-06T17:15:00.000+08:00

Yeah guys. One more week til the end of school. All the stress is ending, for now. Still got form 5 again SPM, but let's not worry about that, shall we? :)

So, moving on. Nigel Chee came back sudahh. Saw him outside school. Back unannounced? Or maybe he didn't tell me *death stares* so moving on. In SGCC now. Suppossed to be playing tennis but, oh well. I'm suppossed to be exercising and losing weight. But, oh well. It's not like I will gain any weight by not exercising, right? I better be right. Even if I'm not right, tell me I'm right. I wanna keep my mood up.

Oh myy gawd! I heard Anthony broke down while meeting with the head of departments? I think he's too stressed out. And that we're disappointing him. :( But we tried. He can't say we didn't try. He have super high expectations for us, but we're just humans. We are teens. We have our social life to keep up to. So, I guess we're sorry?

Moving on, school ended at 11.00 am. Didn't know. So stayed til 11.30am, talking to Maya and Hannah and Amanda Kheng (aahhhh) mostly. Sighs. I need to go out. I need a vacation. :)

Two is better than one?

2009-11-05T16:35:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! Blogging now! So, today at school. Nothing really special happened. Teacher Jacob is really scary.

I'm scared. I freaked out when he came into 4A and started scolding and giving back papers. Yerr. So neways, tomorrow is the Recognition Day a.k.a. Super Boring Day. Still, have to come to school. Our dearest Datin will demerit us. How can she tell us what to do? We don't tell her how to rule the school.

Sukan Tara/Tarah/taraf?

2009-11-02T21:14:00.000+08:00

So today in school, we had this sukan thingy. It wasn't that bad, though Datin Lorna is pretty pissed off about the people who didn't come to school. BAM! Kena Demerit, I think.

So neways, I suck in all the sports oh! Even shot-put. Sniff. I can't do lompat jauh, let alone lari 100m or 200m. Why must the pengetua be so bitchy to people who can't sprint? Ughh.

So, yeah. I didn't manage to get any marks for my house.

Hang out with Maya, Jason, Mich, Hannah. Talked about spongebob!!!! Me, Jason and Michelle were talking and laughing about spongebob and were like such huge fans of spongebob and poor Maya's caught in between.

So sad kan? Slut! So, we're thinking of a kindergarten reunion since we're gathering all our friends from kindergarten on facebook. Facebook is a beautiful invention. You'll be like, OMG, look! It's Kara! She's still alive!!! hahahaha.

Kindergarten Days :)

2009-11-02T21:11:00.001+08:00

Prefect's Leadership Camp

2009-10-31T18:32:00.000+08:00

Hey people! Just got back from the prefect’s training. Too tired to blog anything long. Pics click here

I'm gonna kill BALAAAAAAA!

2009-10-30T18:13:00.000+08:00

I'm so freaking pissed at Cikgu Bala right now. I just wish to scream at his fucking face.

He threatened us to give us 0 marks for our add maths if we don't go to school today to discuss the paper. But then, that bastard of a teacher didn't even show up in class! Like, wtf? We basically do NOTHING in school. Fuck y'all! Fuckity fuckity fuck.

See, yesterday me and Nigel hang out in CP bah kan. We ate Kenny Rogers for lunch. Then we all watched Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs. The movie nice oh. Then we walked around and went back to Nigel's place to sleepover.

Actually kan, I don't wanna go school today. The only reason why I went is because Bala said we have to go to school to get our marks if not we get 0 for add maths. Annoying man him. I wanna slap him oh!

So tomorrow, it's the prefect's Kursus Kepimpinan thingy. I think I'm the only one excited about it. Gawd.

Anyway, Darren is being a bitch to me. He said I'm a bitch. But I'm nice to him. So how? I'll just show him how much of a bitch I can be.

Trust me.

Bitch, don't talk so much

2009-10-28T17:07:00.002+08:00

I think I might be getting back my bitchiness. That's great, right?

Hahaha. Sorry for the freaking long term of not updating. We just finished exams! I'm so effing happy! And cos I think I am going to improve in this exam.

Thank you, La Salle!

So, sorry Nigel and Belle for not going to the Installation. Was busy with exams, youth had something on, and it's expensive! hahaha. Wished I went though, cos Eloise was performing.

OMG! I heart Use Somebody oh! But I prefer Pixie Lott's version to Kings of Leon though. It's sooo sweet oh!! Haizzz.

Told Jane I had a heavy flow. Maybe cos exams getting through my nerve cells. But now that it's all over, I'm back to my perky self again! Yaaaaaaaaay! (With the man voice) I'm gonna live my last year of freedom before I enter Form 5 :)

Currently listening to Eloise's CD. Love it oh! So sweet oh her voice. hahaha. Sorry, I'm hyper now. I'm like typing so fast I don't even know what I'm writing. I guess I'm super excited!
Oh yeah, tomorrow may be watching Jen's Body with Nigel they all. Gonna be a blast.

And prefect's training. Weirdly enough, I think I'm going to enjoy it. It's like you get to do crazy stuff and SS at the same time. Hahahaha.

I'm waiting for Nigel Chee to come back home so we get to hang out and talk more. We'll like catch up on stuff , right? Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Ok, it's official. I'm retarded.

*does the chicken little dance*

I'm so excited! OK, I blame Lorna for my cuckoo-ness now. That's what people get after they cram their heads with physics, and sivik, and moral, and chem, and and and....everything lah. I'm gonna sue Lorna for the pimples the stress put on me.

Speaking of, I heard Lorna got upgraded to Datin. LOL. Datin Lorna Matthews. Freaky kan? Datin datin datin datin datin datin.

Datin.

Datin Lorna Matthews!

Whee!

Puan Lorna Matthews.

Datin Lorna Matthews.

Datin!

you think I could be nicer to you? It's me we're talking about.